STUDENT TEACHERS = NO.

I was getting a 95% in Visual Basic before this assclown of a student teacher showed up. He gives us a total of maybe 30 minutes to code a program that he hasn't told us how to do, and when you ask him to explain something that he should have told you in the first place, he starts rambling on about something completely irrelevant and expects you to understand. I asked him what a particular user-defined data type was supposed to do, and he started yammering on about shoe sizes and explaining everything EXCEPT what I didn't understand. If I have a problem in the code and can't find it and I ask him to look at it, he toggles through the code a few times and says ".... It should work." Well, it isn't working, asshole, and you're supposed to be able to tell me why it isn't working, or at least give me a fucking hint. I don't CARE if you were in the military. I don't CARE if you know COBOL. This is Visual Basic, and you don't know jack shit about it, apparently. When our real teacher was in the room watching this clown attempt to teach, he had to correct him every ten minutes and then had to go around the room doing damage control while everyone stared at the notes in complete confusion. He starts on one concept, abandons it halfway through, erases it off the board, and starts something else. He tells us how to code a function or how some algorithm works, but he never tells us WHY it works or what each line of code does. The last concept I understand from the class is If/Then/Else and selection structures, and that was in fucking November. We're supposed to be doing class modules now, with properties and objects and Let/Get/Set, and I don't even know what the hell is going on. I don't know the difference between Let, Get, and Set, except that when you use the wrong one your program doesn't work. I don't get the point of Euclid's Algorithm (which we did TODAY), and I don't get how to code it because he wrote half the code on the board (incorrectly), then apparently got bored with that, erased it and moved on to something else. There are kids who ditch the class, and they're doing BETTER than the rest of the class because they get the kids in AP Computer Science (Java) to help them during lunch. Half the time I don't even bother with the programs, I just dick around on Finale Notepad, because I could have my hand up the entire period and he'd never notice, and I can't do anything else with the goddamn module until he tells me what the hell "out of stack space" means and how I can fix it. And I'll bet that's something really easy, that you programmers out there are probably facepalming as you read this, but HE NEVER TOLD US WHAT IT MEANS and MSDN is no help. Damn Microsoft. If I knew more about computers I'd be rocking Linux by now. I wish we could all be cavemen and go back to MSDOS and Windows 3.1. I could use that when I was FIVE. My first computer-related memory is of my dad telling me "Windows is not a GAME, it is an OPERATING SYSTEM. And MS Paint isn't a game either, it's a GRAPHICS APPLICATION." My dad looked at my grades and was surprised I wasn't doing better in VB, but then again this guy wrote his first program on PUNCH CARDS which I'd probably have better luck with than VB taught by a student teacher.

And that's not the only student teacher I've got.... I've got one in Anatomy, too. His handwriting is illegible, and what notes he does write on the board are all over the place. In a class like Anatomy (that is, consisting of rote memorization of cold, hard facts and long-ass Latin names), EVERYTHING GOES ON THE BOARD OR WE WILL NOT REMEMBER IT. Where our usual teacher (who FUCKING RULES) would write "Men have 5-6 million erythrocytes per mL of whole blood", the student teacher will write "5m/mL eryth in men." Except you wouldn't be able to read it. The funny thing is, this guy is planning on being a PHYSICS teacher. There are several physics classes in the school. What the purple fuck is he doing teaching ANATOMY? Jesus. And people wonder why kids are stupid.

I fear the day these two enter the teaching workforce. I do. At least there's a chance they'll go nuts and quit after their first year. We did that to a home ec teacher in 7th grade... she had a nervous breakdown and left after a month and a half or so. It was great.