Thursday, November 18, 2004

OOKAY. LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.

Hope Blogger's not too hungry today. ::grumble grumble::

Anyways, my last post was about how FUCKING UNBELIEVABLY STUPID people in my English class are. I haven't seen some of these grammatical errors since third grade. These papers are unreadable. I get headaches every time we do a proofreading session. And so, without much more ado, I give you:

JENN'S PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENTS REGARDING THE USES AND ABUSES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
1) They're over there, abusing their native tongue.
Jesus tapdancing Christ. I can't believe people still do this. But anyway, since I'm trying to help you people, here you go:
THEY'RE is a contraction of "they are," and refers to multiple people or things. THEY'RE is the same as THEY ARE.

THERE is noun describing the LOCATION of something.

THEIR is an adjective showing possession of an object.

THESE WORDS ARE NOT THE SAME. Please try to nail this through your thick Neanderthal skulls. For my sake, as well as the sake of anyone else who has to read your pathetic scribblings.

2) Is a sentence fragment.
You're probably asking, "WHAT'S a sentence fragment?" Exactly. That's what I'm here for.
A sentence generally has two parts- the subject and the predicate. A sentence that is lacking either of these is a fragment. Exceptions are made for command forms- for example, "Shut the fuck up" is a complete sentence because it has the "understood you" as its subject. You, shut the fuck up. It's all quite simple.

But what I keep seeing is stuff like, "As it continued." Granted, it has a subject (it) and a predicate (continued) but "As" makes it a subordinate clause and therefore NOT a sentence. You don't have to know all these rules to know if a sentence is a fragment or not. You should really just be able to tell by looking.

By the way, fragments are acceptable in non-scholarly works, like this blog. As long as people know what you mean.

3) This is not German Class.
German capitalizes Nouns. I'm sure You have noticed This on the multi-lingual Labels on many Appliances in your Home. I have no clue why native speakers of English insist on doing this. I am not making this up.

4) THE SPELL CHECK, MOTHERFUCKERS. USE IT.
This one is self-explanatory.

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