PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS
1) There are three chicken sandwiches at McDonald's, and you do not get to invent new ones. Sorry.
So this guy walks up and asks for a "chicken sandwich." I ask him if he wants grilled chicken, fried chicken, or the McChicken. He proceeds to say, "...uhhh..... The regular one." I repeat my question: grilled, fried, or McChicken? His response: "..... Broiled." ::facepalm:: Some broad asked for "baked chicken" after going through the same motions.
PEOPLE. THE OPTIONS ARE THE OPTIONS. A, B, OR C. THERE IS NO "OTHER." It's like arguing with goddamn two-year-olds.
"Grilled or fried, honey? Grilled or fried?"
".... Broiled!"
1a) There is no medium coffee. Small and large. 12oz and 20oz. We cannot pull any in-between ounce-age cups out of our asses.
A guy comes up and asks for a medium coffee. I go through the same speech as the chicken sandwiches, except with coffee. After this, he looks at me and states, "Medium," as if I had given him the option of a medium coffee and he was telling me what he wanted. I had to tell this fuck THREE TIMES that there was no medium.
2) Johnny can't read because his parents can't either.
The menu board is about 20 feet long by 3 feet high, and it is right above my head. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are completely clueless about its existence. Even when I have pointedly turned around and read them the price off of the menu of something or other, they STILL ask me how much something else is, even though the prices are all RIGHT FUCKING THERE. And then there are the lovely geniuses who go apoplectic over the fact that their breakfast meal costs more with orange juice than with coffee; even though the menu board says that the meal prices are given with the price of a small coffee included and a drink that costs more will also push the meal price up.
And then, there's one of my favorites:
Customer: I'll have a #1 meal.
Me: What drink would you like with that?
Customer: (arrogant know-it-all voice) Coffee. THAT'S WHAT COMES WITH IT.
No, fuckwit. You can substitute any drink you want, if you're not too stupid to READ THE VALUE MEAL MENU, WHERE IT CLEARLY SAYS SO. Not everybody likes coffee. Even the dumbtards running the company know that.
3) No one cares about your bodily malfunctions and/or how the diet is going.
If you have a food allergy, it's understandable; actually, PLEASE tell us, we'll take special precautions against getting anything in your food that might hurt you. But if you want your cheeseburger without pickles because they disagree with you, PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Also, I don't give a flying fuck if you're getting the low-fat dressing in an attempt to lose weight, especially if you're ordering it with a chocolate shake.
4) SPEAK UP, DUMBASSES.
I know you can hear all the stuff going on in the kitchen from in front of the counter. I know you can hear it when someone drops a metal pan on the floor. I know you can hear me when I say I can't hear you. When someone says they can't hear you, that's an indication that you are not speaking loudly and/or clearly enough, and simply repeating what you just said in the same volume is not going to fix anything. If you don't speak up, I assume no responsibility for fuckups in your order. I tried, and you refused to cooperate.
-----------------rant divide---------------
Colin left for Germany this morning. T_T I actually cried on the way home from his house last night. Damn, this week is gonna suck. ::beams love across the Atlantic::
I'm thinking of starting a mailing list of sorts; assuming I still have any readers after the lack of updates. T_T I'M SORRRRRYYYYYYY..... I'm doing what I can, but I've been working so damn much lately and getting ready for college...ARGH. Soooo, drop me a line through the regular email (see sidebar) if you want me to let you know when I update. Tell the neighbors. If I get enough responses, I'll start up another email account especially for that purpose.
So this guy walks up and asks for a "chicken sandwich." I ask him if he wants grilled chicken, fried chicken, or the McChicken. He proceeds to say, "...uhhh..... The regular one." I repeat my question: grilled, fried, or McChicken? His response: "..... Broiled." ::facepalm:: Some broad asked for "baked chicken" after going through the same motions.
PEOPLE. THE OPTIONS ARE THE OPTIONS. A, B, OR C. THERE IS NO "OTHER." It's like arguing with goddamn two-year-olds.
"Grilled or fried, honey? Grilled or fried?"
".... Broiled!"
1a) There is no medium coffee. Small and large. 12oz and 20oz. We cannot pull any in-between ounce-age cups out of our asses.
A guy comes up and asks for a medium coffee. I go through the same speech as the chicken sandwiches, except with coffee. After this, he looks at me and states, "Medium," as if I had given him the option of a medium coffee and he was telling me what he wanted. I had to tell this fuck THREE TIMES that there was no medium.
2) Johnny can't read because his parents can't either.
The menu board is about 20 feet long by 3 feet high, and it is right above my head. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are completely clueless about its existence. Even when I have pointedly turned around and read them the price off of the menu of something or other, they STILL ask me how much something else is, even though the prices are all RIGHT FUCKING THERE. And then there are the lovely geniuses who go apoplectic over the fact that their breakfast meal costs more with orange juice than with coffee; even though the menu board says that the meal prices are given with the price of a small coffee included and a drink that costs more will also push the meal price up.
And then, there's one of my favorites:
Customer: I'll have a #1 meal.
Me: What drink would you like with that?
Customer: (arrogant know-it-all voice) Coffee. THAT'S WHAT COMES WITH IT.
No, fuckwit. You can substitute any drink you want, if you're not too stupid to READ THE VALUE MEAL MENU, WHERE IT CLEARLY SAYS SO. Not everybody likes coffee. Even the dumbtards running the company know that.
3) No one cares about your bodily malfunctions and/or how the diet is going.
If you have a food allergy, it's understandable; actually, PLEASE tell us, we'll take special precautions against getting anything in your food that might hurt you. But if you want your cheeseburger without pickles because they disagree with you, PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Also, I don't give a flying fuck if you're getting the low-fat dressing in an attempt to lose weight, especially if you're ordering it with a chocolate shake.
4) SPEAK UP, DUMBASSES.
I know you can hear all the stuff going on in the kitchen from in front of the counter. I know you can hear it when someone drops a metal pan on the floor. I know you can hear me when I say I can't hear you. When someone says they can't hear you, that's an indication that you are not speaking loudly and/or clearly enough, and simply repeating what you just said in the same volume is not going to fix anything. If you don't speak up, I assume no responsibility for fuckups in your order. I tried, and you refused to cooperate.
-----------------rant divide---------------
Colin left for Germany this morning. T_T I actually cried on the way home from his house last night. Damn, this week is gonna suck. ::beams love across the Atlantic::
I'm thinking of starting a mailing list of sorts; assuming I still have any readers after the lack of updates. T_T I'M SORRRRRYYYYYYY..... I'm doing what I can, but I've been working so damn much lately and getting ready for college...ARGH. Soooo, drop me a line through the regular email (see sidebar) if you want me to let you know when I update. Tell the neighbors. If I get enough responses, I'll start up another email account especially for that purpose.
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