Who says only kids are affected by TV?
You know those paper towel commercials that show a kid dumping orange juice or kool-aid or whatever all over the floor, and the mom just cracks up like it's so goddamned cute and it's so fun to clean up? I think those commercials are warping the minds of parents everywhere into thinking that it's cute when kids spill something. Because every day I see parents letting kids fill their cups at McD, spill coke all over the place, and they don't do a damn thing to stop them even though they're right there. PEOPLE. IT'S NOT CUTE. Since we're usually busy and understaffed, it means that the soda is going to coagulate into a sticky mess and screw up the counter (the red fruitopia stains the counter if you don't wipe it up right away) before anyone has a chance to wipe it up. The kids also like to throw lids and straws all over the place, and the parents apparently don't see fit to pick them up or have the kids do it. Honestly, it's not difficult to keep your kid from GETTING UP ON THE COUNTER (because that's the only way they can reach the lids) and tossing lids on the floor. And even if that's beyond your capabilities, it certainly isn't hard to pick the lids up.
More stuff:
1) Three-year-olds are not capable of decision-making. Let them decide what they want BEFORE they get in line. It's a pain in the ass to sit there while your kid goes "Nuggets! No, hamburger! No, cheeseburger! No, I want nuggets!"
--Corollary to #1: We're not supposed to ask kids if they want Happy Meals, because some kids look young and you could be asking a 15-year-old if they want one. So if your little genius says just "cheeseburger," don't get pissed if that's all they get. They ordered a cheeseburger, not a happy meal.
2) Don't sit your baby's diapered butt on the counter. I don't consider myself germ-phobic, but that's just plain NASTY.
3) If it's busy and you decide to pay entirely in change, at least show some sign that you're aware you're being a pain in the ass.
4) Don't let little kids "pay". I know they have to learn money skills, but that can be taught at home. Today, some mom gave her kid a a five and two singles to pay for a $4.84 #5 meal. The kid sat there and stared at the bills while the mom prodded "Well? It costs almost $5, but not quite. What do you give her?" This went on for several minutes until the mom noticed the increasingly disgruntled customers behind her and paid herself.
5) WE. DO. NOT. HAVE. HONEY. MUSTARD. SAUCE. No McDonald's that I know of has honey mustard sauce. Why are people always so goddamned shocked to find out that we don't have it either?
--Corollary to #5: No McDonald's in America, as far as I know, has had any ice cream flavor besides vanilla since I was in maybe seventh grade. I've graduated high school. Why hasn't anyone caught on yet? NO, WE DON'T HAVE FUCKING CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM. The chocolate shakes are vanilla ice cream with chocolate shake syrup mixed in. If you want chocolate ice cream, order a fudge sundae and mix it around and get out of my face.
6) If you order a shit ton of anything ice-cream related (sundaes, flurries, shakes), don't get pissed if it takes forever. We can only make one at a time. This goes along with #3's request to be aware of the fact that you're an asshole.
7) Don't tell me that "[you] know it's against the rules, but an employee at another McDonald's did it for [you]." They probably got fired for it, genius.
8) If you have a stupid request (i.e., an ice-cream cone turned upside down in a sundae cup with some oreo crumbs, which some guy DID in fact request today), don't get pissed if we don't understand it.
9) "We're out" means "we don't have any more" means "there aren't any left" means "shut the fuck up and go home." You standing there bitching isn't going to make any more of whatever-it-is appear.
10) We can't sell the Happy Meal toys in the display because they're in the display, genius. We need them for the display. Sometimes we repeat happy meal promos and need the displays again. Also, I know from personal experience that those displays are a PAIN IN THE ASS to take apart and put back together, and often the toys are glued in anyway. Stop bitching and take your slobbery kid out of my restaurant.
11) If you have a ton of kids, for the love of all that is good and holy ask them what they want BEFOREHAND and write it down, and tell them to go get a table or something. Anything to keep them out of the lobby. There's nothing worse than an entire Girl Scout troop screeching their orders at you all at once.
12) If you have a heavy accent, don't get pissed if we can't understand you. A bunch of construction workers with heavy Irish (or maybe it was Scottish, or maybe even fucking Polish, it was so heavy I couldn't even tell what it was) accents came in once and ordered something that sounded like "three-piece McChicken." After ten fucking minutes of them laughing with each other and yammering in their native language whenever I asked them what they meant, it turned out that what they said was "three, please- McChicken". Also, I've learned that when someone with an Asian accent says "#7" it sounds like "Cobb salad."
More to come later.
More stuff:
1) Three-year-olds are not capable of decision-making. Let them decide what they want BEFORE they get in line. It's a pain in the ass to sit there while your kid goes "Nuggets! No, hamburger! No, cheeseburger! No, I want nuggets!"
--Corollary to #1: We're not supposed to ask kids if they want Happy Meals, because some kids look young and you could be asking a 15-year-old if they want one. So if your little genius says just "cheeseburger," don't get pissed if that's all they get. They ordered a cheeseburger, not a happy meal.
2) Don't sit your baby's diapered butt on the counter. I don't consider myself germ-phobic, but that's just plain NASTY.
3) If it's busy and you decide to pay entirely in change, at least show some sign that you're aware you're being a pain in the ass.
4) Don't let little kids "pay". I know they have to learn money skills, but that can be taught at home. Today, some mom gave her kid a a five and two singles to pay for a $4.84 #5 meal. The kid sat there and stared at the bills while the mom prodded "Well? It costs almost $5, but not quite. What do you give her?" This went on for several minutes until the mom noticed the increasingly disgruntled customers behind her and paid herself.
5) WE. DO. NOT. HAVE. HONEY. MUSTARD. SAUCE. No McDonald's that I know of has honey mustard sauce. Why are people always so goddamned shocked to find out that we don't have it either?
--Corollary to #5: No McDonald's in America, as far as I know, has had any ice cream flavor besides vanilla since I was in maybe seventh grade. I've graduated high school. Why hasn't anyone caught on yet? NO, WE DON'T HAVE FUCKING CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM. The chocolate shakes are vanilla ice cream with chocolate shake syrup mixed in. If you want chocolate ice cream, order a fudge sundae and mix it around and get out of my face.
6) If you order a shit ton of anything ice-cream related (sundaes, flurries, shakes), don't get pissed if it takes forever. We can only make one at a time. This goes along with #3's request to be aware of the fact that you're an asshole.
7) Don't tell me that "[you] know it's against the rules, but an employee at another McDonald's did it for [you]." They probably got fired for it, genius.
8) If you have a stupid request (i.e., an ice-cream cone turned upside down in a sundae cup with some oreo crumbs, which some guy DID in fact request today), don't get pissed if we don't understand it.
9) "We're out" means "we don't have any more" means "there aren't any left" means "shut the fuck up and go home." You standing there bitching isn't going to make any more of whatever-it-is appear.
10) We can't sell the Happy Meal toys in the display because they're in the display, genius. We need them for the display. Sometimes we repeat happy meal promos and need the displays again. Also, I know from personal experience that those displays are a PAIN IN THE ASS to take apart and put back together, and often the toys are glued in anyway. Stop bitching and take your slobbery kid out of my restaurant.
11) If you have a ton of kids, for the love of all that is good and holy ask them what they want BEFOREHAND and write it down, and tell them to go get a table or something. Anything to keep them out of the lobby. There's nothing worse than an entire Girl Scout troop screeching their orders at you all at once.
12) If you have a heavy accent, don't get pissed if we can't understand you. A bunch of construction workers with heavy Irish (or maybe it was Scottish, or maybe even fucking Polish, it was so heavy I couldn't even tell what it was) accents came in once and ordered something that sounded like "three-piece McChicken." After ten fucking minutes of them laughing with each other and yammering in their native language whenever I asked them what they meant, it turned out that what they said was "three, please- McChicken". Also, I've learned that when someone with an Asian accent says "#7" it sounds like "Cobb salad."
More to come later.
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