So apparently I'm a swindler.

Or at least that's what the dumb douche who bothered me at work today appears to think. She came up to the counter wanting to know why she didn't get a stepometer with her salad. I said it's because she didn't get the meal- you have to get a drink with the salad; she got a salad alone. She asked for just a stepometer (she didn't want a drink). Stepometers alone cost about $3.15.

I gave her the total and she BLEW THE FUCK UP. "OH, is THAT how it works, huh? I can pay $1.50 for another drink, or I can pay $3.15 for a stepometer?! HUH? HUH?!" At this point I put my hands in the unarmed position and said "I don't make the rules, ma'am... I can just ring you in for a drink and give you the stepometer, since you already got the salad." This worked out fine for everybody, but I had to listen to her bitch about me to her stupid little friend for the next fifteen minutes. ARGH.

And I had to put up with Bianca's fat ass elbowing me all over the place wiping trays... I don't know WHY the hell she always has to be cleaning trays even when we don't need any more, or why she pushes past me when the trays are RIGHT NEXT TO ME and if we needed any I would be wiping them myself, and most of all WHY IS IT SO BEYOND HER TO LINE THE FUCKING TRAYS?! Why can't she put a sheet of paper in the trays? Why does she have to take up the entire damn counter with a stack of wet trays, a stack of dried trays, and a stack of liners? I can leave the wet trays on the cart on the floor, and make only a pile of dried and lined trays on the counter. But I guess that's just too damn hard for some people.

I keep thinking that it wouldn't be a bad idea to make a blog for McDonald's employees and/or a guild on Gaia. Hrm. Too bad Gaia is "currently under maintenance"... first it was supposed to be done at 9am central, then 11am, then 2pm, and now "sometime this evening." ARGH.

The ice cream haunts me. And spooky goffic music.

Apparently chocolate ice cream is still available in Texas, too... and there are a couple stores in Michigan that still have the tiny kiddie cones.

I finally got around to buying a Switchblade Symphony cd after five years of putting it off... and it ranged from absolutely gorgeous to flat-out embarrassing. Tina Root has a beautiful voice; but about half the time she sounds like she's trying to impersonate Billy Corgan, which doesn't work for anyone besides Billy Corgan. On a couple of the songs the lyrics are akin to reading an angsty 13-year-old's poetry notebook. Actual lyrics:

"I feel that you should know
I have an empty soul" (Invisible)

"You don't know where to start
Just look into your heart" (Therapy)

"When did this all start?
When did I fall apart?" (Wicked) (I think)

It is good sometimes though... one song, "Invitation," is quickly becoming one of my favorite songs. There's an incredibly badass instrumental... reminiscent of Skinny Puppy, in a way. The first track, "Invisible," manages to recover from the massive misstep of the first two lines (see first example above). Samples of GOOD lyrics:

"Take my back roads
Round my fences
To an empty view
Climb the ladder
Straight to heaven
Where the creatures dulcify gods and devils
Take their pillows
Get in position to multiply" (Invisible)

"So they visit you in the dead of night
They make love alone
They say that it's alright
That it's just the same
Do you like them?
Do you want them?
They've invited you
They have chosen you to take a trip
They bring promises of a nearly perfect way
So they reach for you
With beauty and such grace
With their fragile hands
It's you that they've embraced
They are not the same" (Invitation)

The whole thing is very Anne Gwish (for those of you who've read JTHM)... very masturbatory in its gloom-and-doom. It gave me a mental image of a 15-year-old wannabe goth (or "goff", as wannabe goths will hereinafter be referred to) standing in front of Hot Topic, raggedy-ass poetry notebook in hand, shrieking "I'M SPOOKY!!!1!1!!11! LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE!!!111!!11!!"

Ice cream update

Mallory at McD told me today that they still have chocolate ice cream at McDs in Florida. So Triste's theory of "stupid tourists" still holds. I bet they pronounce it "Illi-noise", too.

Also: My curfew has been cut to 11pm due to the fact that I failed to get up at 10am on a day when I had nothing to do- no work, no errands, no chores besides cleaning my room. I asked Mom when it would be put back to normal, and I got "Not in the forseeable future." Well, isn't that just dandy. I "oversleep" on the one day this week when it doesn't matter, and I have to be at home an hour earlier until further fucking notice?! Please introduce me to this strange new breed of logic to which you subscribe, because this is making no sense over here. And they say that they don't want me to feel motivated to move out as soon as I can. Jesus chocolatey Christ.

What REALLY makes this suck is the fact that Colin just got an Xbox and Halo... this is an hour less of Halo time. URRGHHH.

MCDONALD'S BLOWS ASS

NEVER work there. Even the ugliest person can sell themselves on a corner somewhere.

I worked for eight hours today and got one break... an hour and a half into my shift. So I stood at the front counter for roughly six hours straight, starving as hell, every part of my body aching. When I finally get off, the bitch manager-in-training says I can't have a free shake because I already got a meal. Well, what the shit is that? I got a meal six fucking hours ago and have not so much as sat down since. Am I going to go to my car in 85° heat in this oven bag of a uniform to get my purse because now I have to pay $1.50 or whatever for something that until now I got for free? Honestly. It would be no skin off anyone's ass if I got a shake. I figured screw it, I'm going to Portillo's with Colin in a couple hours. But it still pissed me off.

Not to mention, the whole damn day Becky was riding my ass... I'd go to get a cheeseburger to complete an order that's been waiting for ten minutes, and she'd get all pissed at me and say "you just stay there and take the next order." Fucking NO. Give me one good reason why I should take another damn order when there's no more room on the counter and you're all having trouble filling the orders you've already got? And when I did stay and take orders, she'd get mad at me for not serving them off (there's a button you push when an order's been served that takes it off the screen so the grill people know it's done). Serving off is the RUNNER'S job. I am not the runner. You said so yourself. And when someone changed their mind about what size coffee they wanted after I rang up the order and I told her that we needed a large instead of a small, she got all snarky and said "You need to ask them and make sure you have it right." I DID have it right, bitch. She changed her mind.

And every time I was taking an order and Benazir (the other cashier) wasn't, she'd hover over me and push buttons for me. Shit, I've been working here for two months, I think I know where the buttons are. And SHE doesn't even know. Someone ordered cream cheese on their bagel and I was looking for the cream cheese button (this was only the second or third time I'd worked breakfast). She elbowed over and said "here it is" and pushed the cheese button. "no, that's not it..." (pushes the cream button) "no... well, where is it?" At that point, I said "it's HERE," and stabbed the button, which I had located immediately before she started pawing around.

Another thing- It never ceases to amaze me just how damn long people can stay in the restaurant- particularly families with kids in the playplace. A family came in around noonish, got their food and sat down. Over the next four hours they continued coming back for one more happy meal, one more sundae, one more order of fries, etc etc. They were still there when I left. Jesus, Mary and Joseph in Tinsel Town. It's not Studio 54, people. There isn't anyone particularly interesting hanging around. The food is borderline edible on a good day. If you want to get your kids out of your hair, stick their asses in daycare and go eat somewhere decent.

I'd have quit by now if the hours at Center Stage were anywhere near what I get at McD. I need the money, and as long as I have CS I'll have at least a shred of my sanity left.

Who says only kids are affected by TV?

You know those paper towel commercials that show a kid dumping orange juice or kool-aid or whatever all over the floor, and the mom just cracks up like it's so goddamned cute and it's so fun to clean up? I think those commercials are warping the minds of parents everywhere into thinking that it's cute when kids spill something. Because every day I see parents letting kids fill their cups at McD, spill coke all over the place, and they don't do a damn thing to stop them even though they're right there. PEOPLE. IT'S NOT CUTE. Since we're usually busy and understaffed, it means that the soda is going to coagulate into a sticky mess and screw up the counter (the red fruitopia stains the counter if you don't wipe it up right away) before anyone has a chance to wipe it up. The kids also like to throw lids and straws all over the place, and the parents apparently don't see fit to pick them up or have the kids do it. Honestly, it's not difficult to keep your kid from GETTING UP ON THE COUNTER (because that's the only way they can reach the lids) and tossing lids on the floor. And even if that's beyond your capabilities, it certainly isn't hard to pick the lids up.

More stuff:
1) Three-year-olds are not capable of decision-making. Let them decide what they want BEFORE they get in line. It's a pain in the ass to sit there while your kid goes "Nuggets! No, hamburger! No, cheeseburger! No, I want nuggets!"
--Corollary to #1: We're not supposed to ask kids if they want Happy Meals, because some kids look young and you could be asking a 15-year-old if they want one. So if your little genius says just "cheeseburger," don't get pissed if that's all they get. They ordered a cheeseburger, not a happy meal.

2) Don't sit your baby's diapered butt on the counter. I don't consider myself germ-phobic, but that's just plain NASTY.

3) If it's busy and you decide to pay entirely in change, at least show some sign that you're aware you're being a pain in the ass.

4) Don't let little kids "pay". I know they have to learn money skills, but that can be taught at home. Today, some mom gave her kid a a five and two singles to pay for a $4.84 #5 meal. The kid sat there and stared at the bills while the mom prodded "Well? It costs almost $5, but not quite. What do you give her?" This went on for several minutes until the mom noticed the increasingly disgruntled customers behind her and paid herself.

5) WE. DO. NOT. HAVE. HONEY. MUSTARD. SAUCE. No McDonald's that I know of has honey mustard sauce. Why are people always so goddamned shocked to find out that we don't have it either?
--Corollary to #5: No McDonald's in America, as far as I know, has had any ice cream flavor besides vanilla since I was in maybe seventh grade. I've graduated high school. Why hasn't anyone caught on yet? NO, WE DON'T HAVE FUCKING CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM. The chocolate shakes are vanilla ice cream with chocolate shake syrup mixed in. If you want chocolate ice cream, order a fudge sundae and mix it around and get out of my face.

6) If you order a shit ton of anything ice-cream related (sundaes, flurries, shakes), don't get pissed if it takes forever. We can only make one at a time. This goes along with #3's request to be aware of the fact that you're an asshole.

7) Don't tell me that "[you] know it's against the rules, but an employee at another McDonald's did it for [you]." They probably got fired for it, genius.

8) If you have a stupid request (i.e., an ice-cream cone turned upside down in a sundae cup with some oreo crumbs, which some guy DID in fact request today), don't get pissed if we don't understand it.

9) "We're out" means "we don't have any more" means "there aren't any left" means "shut the fuck up and go home." You standing there bitching isn't going to make any more of whatever-it-is appear.

10) We can't sell the Happy Meal toys in the display because they're in the display, genius. We need them for the display. Sometimes we repeat happy meal promos and need the displays again. Also, I know from personal experience that those displays are a PAIN IN THE ASS to take apart and put back together, and often the toys are glued in anyway. Stop bitching and take your slobbery kid out of my restaurant.

11) If you have a ton of kids, for the love of all that is good and holy ask them what they want BEFOREHAND and write it down, and tell them to go get a table or something. Anything to keep them out of the lobby. There's nothing worse than an entire Girl Scout troop screeching their orders at you all at once.

12) If you have a heavy accent, don't get pissed if we can't understand you. A bunch of construction workers with heavy Irish (or maybe it was Scottish, or maybe even fucking Polish, it was so heavy I couldn't even tell what it was) accents came in once and ordered something that sounded like "three-piece McChicken." After ten fucking minutes of them laughing with each other and yammering in their native language whenever I asked them what they meant, it turned out that what they said was "three, please- McChicken". Also, I've learned that when someone with an Asian accent says "#7" it sounds like "Cobb salad."

More to come later.

Shtuff

Took the Magical Personality test... I'm a Mermaid with a Phoenix shadow. Sorry about the lack of updates... I've mostly been sleeping and working lately.

Whooplah!

1) I graduated last night XD
2) I got to meet _miyavi_ (those of you who link here from Gaia would know who that is) tonight XD

Yep, it was awesome (and yes, that really is her in the pics she posts). Problem was, I'm not too talkative offline, so we didn't talk all that much. I did have my unintentionally-humorous sex-ed book with me, and we all got a kick out of that (the chapter on masturbation, titled "Touching Feels Good", starts out: "Before he falls asleep at night, Greg likes to rub his penis." There's even a picture to go with it.). She might come play Halo with us sometime, and she was amply warned not to play against Colin (his kill count is usually triple anyone else's, and he shows no mercy to newbies). At the end of the night, me, her, Colin, and Isaiah all traded home and cell phone #s, email addresses, Gaia names, and IM handles. Geek night XD

There might not be any more rants on dumbitude until October, seeing as I won't be in school again until then. >.>;